I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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