Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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