2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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