Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
