I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
