i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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