I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
There are leaves in my underwear?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
