Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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