Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
