I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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