I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
