shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
