what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
