i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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