you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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