I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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