i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
