who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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