I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I look better un-naked...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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