I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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