if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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