We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
