the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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