I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
