is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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