i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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