TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize