break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
