A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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