im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
