sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
