there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
