Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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