Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
