Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
