Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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