Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
