Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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