can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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