real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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