Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's get the cat blown out
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize