I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
