nut hugger
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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