It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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