I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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