Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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