I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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