I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
