Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
