1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
