The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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