He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
