hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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