he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize