Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
