Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
As shirtless as possible
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
