well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
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He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.