I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
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It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX