I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
