just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize