she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.