Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"