it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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