My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
