what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
