how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
