...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
ok first of all what the fuck
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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