Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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